I’m starting this blog as a diary of my weight loss efforts and achievements, mainly to motivate myself but if I end up motivating others, that’s even better!
My struggle with weight began when I was 21 years old. At that time I took a radio-active iodine pill to destroy my over-active thyroid (I was diagnosed with Graves Disease at 19) and was also diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. (I had untreated Graves Disease for so long that it shut down my pancreas, thus causing the diabetes.) During the months following, I struggled with taking a correct amount of insulin with my meals and my thyroid hormone plummeted as my thyroid died. I constantly took too much insulin, which resulted in low blood sugar and subsequent panicked eating when I tried to bring it back up to a normal level. I ate too much, so I’d have to take more insulin to bring my blood sugar back down, but would again take too much and when it dropped too low again, I started shaking and sweating (symptoms of low blood sugar), and ate a huge amount again to fix it. It was a vicious cycle. As a result of these crazy eating cycles and my thyroid hormone dropping off, I gained 60 pounds in three months–50 of them coming on in the first two months. Hello stretch marks!
I kept the weight on for several years and finally started dieting in 2004. I lost 30 pounds with the Atkins diet, lost another 15 with the Idiot’s Diet, then another 5 by starving myself for three months. Obviously starving myself was stupid, not only because it resulted in very slow weight loss, but because it caused me to start bingeing once I tried to eat normally again. I was frenzied when I ate b/c I was SO HUNGRY, ALWAYS HUNGRY, when I wasn’t eating that it was like I was trying to bury that feeling beneath another even worse feeling of being painfully full.
I have been gaining and losing weight, on a constant weight loss roller coaster since 2004. My lowest weight has been 140 and my highest 190. I am currently 175. Besides the three diets mentioned, I have also been on the Cabbage Soup Diet, the Alabama 3-Day Diet, I’ve used e-Diets, done Weight Watchers and most recently started using sparkpeople.com (I recommend the last–it’s free and so helpful!).
I’m ready to stop the roller coaster. Stop the madness. I want to eat healthy, but not obsessively so. I want to eat treats once in a while, but rarely until I get closer to my weight loss goal (currently 140). My current plan is to eat lean protein, veggies & fruits, whole grains, but not too many starches.
And I’m going to enlist God’s help this time, which I’ve never done before. When I feel weak, I will call on Him to help me. It seems so petty to ask God for help losing weight, so I never have, but losing weight will not only help me look better but feel better and I think that being healthy and feeling good is a pretty big deal.
Right now I feel disgusting. Today I ate 4 pieces of cake. And I feel like it. I feel huge and bloated and just…ew. God help me, I’m ready to go down. In a good way.